If you don’t like something someone else said here, feel free to post a comment in reply pointing out what is problematic about what they are saying. FWIW, I agree with what you are saying about how some of these comments have been problematic. In an ideal world, would I have put the time and energy into replying? Yes. But I didn’t, and I’m not going to make any excuses, or even apologies, for that.

Shakesville influenced my commenting policy in the beginning, when I wanted to create a “safe space” here and was much more vigilant about what was posted. But times have changed, and I have changed, and my life circumstances have changed. My understanding of the meaning, value, and even the possibility of “safe space” and the responsibility of bloggers has changed. I could write about that, but I’m not in the mood. Maybe I will someday, but probably not. Suffice it to say, you and I obviously disagree about what my responsibility is here. And as it’s my blog, it’s going to happen my way.

What I will thank you for is reminding me that my “Before You Comment” page is out of date, because I’m no longer behaving the way I describe there. So I updated it. And you can either take it or leave it.

I think that OA is really helpful for people who want to embrace that they’re “compulsive overeaters/food addicts” and want to commit to the 12 Step Program. I’d say maybe attend an OA meeting or two and then think carefully – do YOU believe that you’re a food addict? If you don’t believe it yourself, don’t let others in OA convince you that you’re a food addict.

Good luck!

I am a fellow blogger, and I am a young life leader. I was not the type A person in high school, sure I had friends but I had acne and I struggled with weight issues as well. Young Life was the only place that I felt welcomed. I did not have a church home that welcomed me, and I hated going to church. It was a chore, but God used Young Life to bring me to Him. There were popular people there, but there were also just your average high school student there as well. In my senior year I made it my mission to make everyone welcome, to invite people who I came in contact with regardless of their social status. I am so sorry to hear about your experience, and I hope it didn’t burn or hurt your relationship with our precious Lord and Savior. Today as a leader, I try to make the club an environment that is welcoming to the girl who sits alone in the corner insecure and hurting. I go to plays, and choir concerts so that I can maybe encounter the girls who often go unnoticed. But YL is far from perfect and it never will be. But our sweet God is perfect, and He will never fail you. God bless.

But now I’m at the end, and it seems to have degenerated from well-thought-out responses to random n00b complaining about Shakesville. The man who writes about how hateful yet hilarious Shakesville is, compared with his “sane” feminist friends? That’s some classic tone-argument and exceptional-woman stuff right there, with a little bit of potentially ableist language thrown in for good measure. I can pretty reasonably translate his comment as “I won’t listen to Shakesville and they’re wrong because they’re so far from my point of view and they’re also not nice. MY feminist friends are much better. They’re not like those ALL THOSE OTHER feminists, who are just crazy, hysterical bitches. And all feminists should take note, if you want men to listen to you, you should be nice to us.” What a helpful reminder that we oppressed groups are supposed to be completely sweet, neutral, and unemotional when discussing our oppression with the privileged groups who don’t face it, benefit from it, and are often complicit in it! Everyone take note, it’s NOT OKAY to express disdain for someone else’s point of view, even when that point of view is disdainful of who you are as a person!

And blueberry moon, who’s so hurt that she got called ableist? Wow, I’m SOO SORRRY. The pain of being called ableist must just be horrifying, and SO much worse than actually, you know, having disabilities and facing the discrimination that comes with that. (And it’s not like Shakesville hasn’t made it clear time and again that using “crazy,” “insane,” etc. as insults is NOT WELCOMED in that space.)

But what kills me is that comments are moderated here, right? And even if those were people who have commented before, and therefore their comments aren’t held in moderation, Katie, you have responded to almost every other comment here, and you have definitely responded to some since that guy (Bernie) posted, and yet you let that stand without reply or response. This, despite the fact that you were a long time Shakesville reader, so you should recognize well-established defenses of privilege like tone-argument and exceptional-woman arguments. In fact, you are clearly are familiar with tone arguments since you discuss them in your original post.

So why? Why would you let bullshit like that stand on your own blog? All I can figure is that this is just proof of a couple of points that some have raised here, and that is that we (as humans) all tend to enjoy consensus, affirmation, and support, and we (as humans) all eventually violate our principles to some degree in who have as friends and allies. Such is life, as my mother would say.

When I look at your website in Chrome, it looks fine but when
opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
Other then that, awesome blog!