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October 1, 2010 / Katie

New “Before You Comment” page

This blog’s one year anniversary passed me by relatively unnoticed.  I have posted very sporadically over the last 15 or so months since I’ve started this blog, and I am hoping to be better about posting more regularly in the future.  But a lot has happened in the last 15 months in my life; I have changed in some fundamental ways.  And with that, comes a much more streamlined, much less heavy-handed page regarding comments.  Where I used to have a long and detailed “comments policy” I now have a “before you comment” page giving basic guidelines for what I will and will not tolerate here.

Part of this comes from a bit of growing up and confidence-building on my part.  I no longer feel the need to go into great detail to justify why I will not tolerate certain things.  This is my space, my rules.  I believe wholeheartedly that my expectations are reasonable and conducive to respectful, productive dialogue.

Another part of this comes from dialogues I’ve had recently with Heidi about starting up a new FA community where kindness, openness, and respectful dialogue are the norm.  I decided that it’s important to be clear about what my boundaries are, while also communicating a welcome.  Some people may experience firm boundaries as antithetical to welcome—that is, they may not feel welcomed by firm boundaries, especially when those boundaries ask something of them which makes them uncomfortable or unhappy.  However, I have no control over how other people react to my boundaries.  I can only state them clearly and enforce them in my own space.

Here is the text from the page, in full:

Hello and welcome to my blog! I am truly glad you are here and hope that you find something that brings you hope, joy, freedom and life.

My default settings put your first comment into the moderation queue. Once I have approved a comment from you, your comments will no longer be moderated, unless something in your first comment makes me wary of your ability to engage with me respectfully and in good faith.

There are certain things I don’t tolerate.

I don’t tolerate any -isms.  Sexism, fatphobia, racism, homophobia, biphobia, queerphobia, ableism, healthism, classism, heterosexism, ageism, etc.  This list is by no means exhaustive, and I don’t tolerate any of it.

I don’t tolerate personal attacks or ad hominem arguments directed at myself or other commenters.

I have very little tolerance/patience for comments that are not respectful and in good faith.  Commenters who post such comments will be put on moderation and if you repeatedly show disrespect to me or others, then eventually, I’ll get tired of you and ban you.

A quick word on dieting/weight loss.

I don’t have any interest whatsoever in your diet or your weight loss attempts or successes.  But I am interested in your struggles with loving yourself and your body in a world that teaches you to hate it.  Therefore, I am certainly interested in your experiences trying to avoid what my dear friend Heidi calls the siren song of dieting.

So with that, again, welcome! I truly do look forward to getting to know you better, and I hope that the crossing of our paths in this little internet nook will be encouraging, live-giving, challenging, and edifying for both of us.

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One Comment

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  1. Spilt Milk / Oct 1 2010 11:01 pm

    I’ve just been doing some similar bloggy maintenance myself so this caught my eye. I really like what you’ve done – I think it’s definitely welcoming. I also like how positively you’ve spun the whole ‘diet’ issue. I might have a re-think about my own phrasing. Good luck with the more frequent posting and new project.

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