Why Young Life Is Evil
Fred over at Slactivist has a mind-blowing post up today called WYLIE (Why Young Life Is Evil).
There was a Young Life group at my high school. There was also an FCA—Fellowship of Christian Athletes—but it was very small; just a handful of students praying before school on Wednesdays in the football coach’s classroom. And there was an emergent home church called Philia started by a few of my friends; I served on the leadership team of it (we called ourselves the Servant Team) for a year or so.
And the dark and dirty secret I never shared with anyone is I often felt left out. Philia was okay, I sort of felt welcome there. Most of the time. Especially if I tried not to think about the fact that I was fat and not exactly gorgeous. But I knew without even having to ask that Young Life was off-limits for me. No one ever said I wasn’t welcome, in so many words. It was just obvious. The kind of people who went were the ones who wouldn’t give me the time of day. They were the A-crowd and I was B or maybe C. But this remained my dark and dirty secret because who could I say that to who wouldn’t just shake their heads at me and say, “oh you’re just being silly.” But, it turns out I wasn’t just seeing things. I wasn’t off-base. Because at least one other person—Fred—sees it too.
Their Big Idea for youth ministry is scarcely hinted at in anything on the group’s Web site, so I can’t quote this in their own words, but it goes something like this: If you want your youth group and your youth ministry events to be popular, you’ve got to get the popular kids to come. So the popular kids should be your priority — the jocks, the cheerleaders, the attractive kids, the Heathers.
So basically, Young Lifers accept and adopt the stratified hierarchy and caste system of high school. A Young Life meeting — by design — looked like a casting call for the villains of every decent high school movie ever made, the richies or preppies or whatever you wanted to call them.
Evil.
This seemed to me an inversion of the gospel, and a perversion of it — a betrayal of everything Jesus taught and demonstrated. The WYLIE rant started with a sarcastic preamble about how Jesus must have selected fishermen, tax collectors and prostitutes for his closest followers because those people were so popular. The lepers, Samaritans, perpetually unclean hemorrhagic women, slaves and the rain dogs of every kind — those were the cool kids, right? The winners? The in-crowd?
This was pretty mind-blowing for me, that Young Life was unavailable to me not because something was wrong with me, but because something was wrong with Young Life. I mean I kind of knew that intellectually all along—if I didn’t feel welcome, what kind of Christian group really was it? I doubt that people gazed in longingly at Jesus’ in-crowd, wishing that they could be accepted. Jesus was the kind of guy who accepted you no matter what, in fact, he was the kind of guy who’d seek out the ones who were left out by others. Life is hard for a fat person of any age but junior high and high school are particularly rough times to be a fat girl. All the normal teenage changing-body insecurities are combined with the actual social oppression that says that fat bodies are unacceptable and left me just grasping for meager straws of confidence or security. I was ignored, left out, and spent a lot of time feeling basically invisible. And the fact that I felt this way with regards to the Christian community was deeply troubling. That’s not how it was supposed to be. The story we all told ourselves was that Christians were so nice, friendly, and welcoming. The story was a lie, but it was a believable one considering the actual life of the man we were supposedly following, so it fed the idea that the problem was with me.
So Fred’s post brings me the Good News. Like water to my parched lips. God, as revealed through Jesus, accepted the high school me exactly as I was; it was Jesus’ followers that fell short. And God today accepts me exactly as I am; in this body, in its exact size and shape. God wouldn’t love me more should I lose weight, and God won’t love me less if I gain weight. I believe this in my head, and because of Fred’s post I believe it a little more in my heart than I used to. It is true for me, and it is true for you. We are enough. We are loved exactly as we are; our bodies are loved exactly as they are.
I’ll wrap up with a second quote from Fred, with the encouragement to go read the whole post.
Consider what this does to the kids themselves — not just to the kids who don’t “merit” your attention because they’re unpopular losers, but to the powerful and popular kids who do receive that attention. They’ve received that attention because of their status, not because of who they actually are. That attention is thus conditional, and if they are being told that this attention is an expression or extension of God’s love for them, then they are also being taught that God’s love for them, likewise, is conditional.
God loves winners, therefore God loves you, they are taught. So, what happens if and when you lose?
Yeah, that’s evil.
Kataphatic 
Young Life was quite active at my high school, and its members frankly behaved like they were in a cult. Between that and their pretty steady harassment of any openly non-Christian (like me and my pagan self) has had me convinced for a long time that Young Life is evil.
Oh…my…gosh. I had never heard of Young Life until this post, and what I’m reading makes me righteously angry. In my hometown, the “cool” kids went to a specific church with a specific youth group. Needless to say, I wasn’t encouraged to come.
And if you lived anywhere close to me I’d invite you to meet with our home church…half of us are fatties!
Wow, that makes so much sense. There was a Young Life program at my high school and it always seemed weird because it was all popular kids. The really religious kids weren’t accepted either. I would never have been invited either way, because I was pretty openly anti-organized religion, but now I see no one ever even approached me because I was a geeky, inbetweener fatty, book nerd.
I wonder if there’s anyway to stop this, I feel like once I get a teaching job making statements about the powerful Young Life program might get me fired.
Yeah you would definitely want to be careful as a teacher… I personally happen to think the best way to counteract any negative impact that this group might have on kids at your school would be to be the kind of teacher who really obviously cares about the kids. I experienced loneliness in a variety of ways in high school, and one of them was that teachers kept calling me Kathleen (I was going by Kathryn at the time, which was my legal name, and on all the rosters and everything) and just really didn’t seem to know me. I taught for awhile myself so I know the difficulty of really getting to know 90-120 kids in any one semester or year, but I still think that is one way teachers can negate it. I mean, kids will be excluded and subject to the social class hierarchy no matter what, whether it’s perpetuated by the church group(s) or not… but I think teachers have some power in letting kids know they are important and matter!
It’s amazing how many professed followers of Jesus manage to mangle His teachings into something He wouldn’t begin to recognize. As Max Von Sydow says in Hannah and Her Sisters: “If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in His name, He’d never stop throwing up.”
I mean, come on! How hard can it be? This respectful atheist gets that the message of the New Testament is one of love, inclusion, and generosity. If I can get and appreciate that message, why can’t people who profess to live their lives according to these same teachings?
Oh yes, even those damned athiests can get it, so how hard can it be?
OK- so I feel compelled to say something. While I don’t agree with what a Young Life group usually ends up becoming. I also don’t agree with calling them evil. Misguided certainly, exclusive and judgmental perhaps, but not evil. I was never a part of Young Life, but know many who were and who have grown into wonderful caring people.
As Jesus taught, love your fellow man as the flawed person they are. Rather than label this group evil, I prefer to live by example and try to be open and accepting. I wonder how those people who found their lives enriched and discovered a closer relationship with Jesus through YL would feel reading this.
I do think that there should be more accepting alternatives for youth who want to be involved. Maybe the blog author can think of a way to engage youth of all varieties in a positive way. I’d love to hear her ideas.
Mel, I tend to shy away from calling things “evil” myself and had Fred (the blogger I referenced) not used that term I probably wouldn’t have either. I don’t say this to try to skirt the fact that I did, in fact, vicariously and implicitly call the organization evil. I say it to emphasize that I think the prophetic voice here is called for, to call a spade a spade. I admire Fred for doing so, for having courage in ways I lack it. I also want to point out that never did I call the people within it—the “them”—evil. There is a huge difference between saying that motivations or philosophies or business models are evil, and saying that the people who live into them are evil. And even if I WAS talking about the leaders of Young Life (which I wasn’t) that also wouldn’t have been the same as referencing the students themselves.
I would also point out that Jesus taught us to love our fellow humans as the flawed persons they are, not fellow “man” :) The gendered language is in the Bible, sure, but it’s pretty obvious it was about ALL of us, not just male humans, and I appreciate language that includes me.
And that’s really what this is about—inclusion. I was excluded from Young Life. This negatively impacted my self-image and my understanding of God’s love for me at a very impressionable time for me. I am speaking my truth, even if it is hard for some to hear. I, too, wonder what former Young Lifers might think about this post. Especially if they ever felt the pressure Fred talked about at the end of the post—that if their acceptance at Young Life was conditional, did they feel pressure to continue to be the “winners”? Because any ministry based on conditional love is not a ministry based on the Gospel.
As a final point I want to say that I am sure individual Young Life organizations have had positive impact on the lives of youth. That, however, does not negate problems with the organization as a whole (or any ministries based on becoming an in-crowd for the wealthy and the powerful) nor the negative impact it had on the lives of people like me.
Also, just so I know next time I see ya—are you the Mel I know in person (and I only know one) or are you a different Mel?
Mel, nobody said that everyone who joined Young Life was evil, but rather that the organization of the group is precisely in opposition to Jesus’ primary message of inclusion and non-judgment.
Just as there were members of, as an extreme example, the Hitler Youth who went on to be decent people and great additions to society, there are also going to be people who come through a group like Young Life unscathed, unspoiled, wonderful people. There will also necessarily be people who are permanently damaged by the perversion of one of the finest philosophies ever to have been espoused on Earth.
I think ‘engaging youth of all varieties in a positive way’ has to begin with a message of inclusion rather than exclusion, generosity rather than privilege, and a more accurate interpretation of Jesus’ message.
Thanks Twistie—that is exactly my intent.
And I also happen to think that Fred DID do a good job of including the kids who’d participated in Young Life. I spoke from my own experience as one who was left out, but he spoke to the problems that may be associated with kids who understand, even at a sub-conscious level, that their acceptance is based on being the “winners.”
Twistie: I agree with much of what you said …but calling the YL group evil is not the place to start spreading a message of inclusion. A group is its members….so calling YL as a whole evil is reflective of everyone in that group. Since no where on their website does it discuss recruiting the “beautiful” people we can’t hold the group up as an exclusive organization that teaches a message in opposition to the teachings of Jesus.
In your example, the group was open about it’s hatred and exclusion of others. I searched the YL site for veiled references to recruiting the pretty, athletic, outgoing, or whatever and couldn’t find anything. In fact they state the opposite.
Most of the previous comments talked about how the youth at their local YL group acted…anyone ever have any negative interactions with the local leadership, or even witness the negative behavior from these kids in front of their leaders? Just sounds like a strong bias against those popular kids who were YL members who made have made life in high school tougher.
As an aside: The original post from slactivist stated that he is resurrecting his belief that YL is evil based on their financial ties to The Family. Yes, they do get funds from them, but so do wonderful aid organizations like Project Mercy and Cornerstone Development. It is a weak thread on which to base his case that YL must also subscribe to The Family’s rhetoric.
Mel,
1) Please take any commentary about Fred’s original post which I did not discuss (i.e. the links to The Family) to his blog. It is really not appropriate here, because it is derailing.
2) As I stated in my comment policy (which you may want to review) the purpose of this blog is to bring the gospel to folks who are oppressed because of their size. I have requested that not only posts but comments as well stay on this topic, and yours have strayed as you question and minimize the experiences of me and others who have experienced oppression and exclusion from this particular group.
3) I must insist on some basic respect and a “good faith” stance. Disagreement is absolutely tolerated here (and necessary, I believe, for true dialogue in which all may come to deeper understanding). But so far, you have not shown me respect in that you have not addressed me directly (saying “the blog author” and answering part of my comment in a comment addressed to Twisty instead of me) and have not answered my question about whether you are the Mel I know IRL.
4) You have made your point that you don’t think “evil” is the right word and, again, this has become a derail from my original post, the purpose of which was to bring the Good News to fat people that we are welcome and accepted in the Kingdom of God exactly as we are. I am delighted you are here, really and truly, but if we are going to discuss this further I must insist on respect, good faith, and keeping it on topic. Further comments from you minimizing the experiences of myself and others or derailing in any way will be deleted.
Are you suggesting that the organizers of Young Life and their events only want certain types of people to show up? This is certainly not the case. I belonged to Young LIfe whille in high school and and was by no means popular at school. our group consisted of hundreds of teens from multiple schools and i would have to say if anything it was a place the unpopular could feel popular. I how could someone say they are unpopular with a couple hundred friends you hangout with everyweek? I now help run my churches youthgroup and it is awsome, but as the organizer you dont really have any control over who comes only what you do after they get their. The organization can’t come into the school and invite the students they relay on the students to invite each other. No matter how hard you try to teach the students to love everyone they are not going to go up to someone they dont know in school and invite them to a christian group. Their are hundreds of youthgroups in each city in the US, young life works for some teens, others do better in a church setting, still others only like bible studies, every person is different, no group can reach all teens at once.
– there were plenty of overweight people in our group and in the youthgroup I lead now. I have been active in church and youthgroups since I was young and have never seen someone discrimminated against for being big.
– I have spoken about this to a couple I lead the youth with and have known for years, both are very large, they seem to think that many youth are feeling so bad about themselfs that they percieve disscrimination or being left out when it has nothing to do with how they look. Some youth are out going and others are not, if a youth sees another seperating themselves from the group, being very quite and/or uninvolved they will just give that person space. They will not engage, just as the quite one will not engage the group. This can not be blamed on the organisation.
– it don’t even sound like you ever went to a group meeting yourself only JUDGED those who were going and were mad at them for not inviting you. I’m sorry you felt left out but if those people were not your friends there was little hope of them ever asking you.
– you should not use a blog meant to bring others to Christ to cut down a group that does just that. They are HUGE I have seen dozens of teens come to Christ through young life. Now, as an adult i am still friends with many of them. We have all gone on to further the kingdom of God.
– there are thousands over over weight teens in youg life right now walking with jesus.
– once again sorry for your poor high school experience but youth can be inmature and hurtful but young life is breaking barriers accorss the globe everyday, Christians need to lift up other Christians not tear them down because their specific group didn’t work for them.
Andrew, I’m not going to question your experience with YL just because it was different than mine, and I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to be questioning my experience just because it was different from yours. You also clearly didn’t even read everything I wrote, given that you’re implying I was shy and withdrawn. I was generally but not when it came to Christian organizations—as I said several times I was in leadership of another Christian group. It’s a bit rich what you’re accusing me of here.
But your comment misses the point, which is simply this: “just because a Christian group might reject you for whatever reason, doesn’t mean God rejects you.” That is good news!
sorry Katie but your missing the point, Young Life does not deserve your attack. You are damaging an organization that does Gods work. You were rejected by teens not by Young Life.
Actually I think Andrew is missing the point and Young Life does deserve the attack. Also how can she damage an organization that is already damaged. I say this as the next door neighbor of some Young Life counselors and not some rejected teenager.
And when you say “God’s Work”, I assume you mean it to be the kind of “Christian” behavior that I have to put up with such as:
1) Extremely loud parties within 20 feet of my bedroom window by 30+ teens at 1:30 in the morning.
2) Chair races in the street behind my house using chairs with wheels and when the wheels fall off, they leave the chair behind my back fence.
3) Playing football on the street directly next to where I’m doing construction (working with re-bar in a ditch getting ready to pour concrete) only to have them repeatable jump into the ditch to retrieve their football.
During this, the counselors are standing by doing nothing. Shall I also tell the story of them destroying another neighbors hedge? I can continue to go on.
YOUNG LIFE IS EVIL
you did serve on a leadership team, of a group started by your friends, proving my point
seriously? We’re done. I have no interest in arguing with you about myself and my history.
Why does “Young Life” have to go to public schools during lunch hour and try to recruit kids? Public schools are not Sunday schools.
Go ahead and love Jesus Christ and practice your religion but do it in your home and church. I think it is creepy that these older kids from Young Life come to the middle schools during the school day. Why aren’t they in college or working? There is plenty of time
and plenty of places this org can do whatever it is they do, but
the public schools are not the place for them.
I am intrigued as I read both this post and the comments. My own involvement with Young Life has been consistent over the past 15 years. My brother went to YL in high school. He was an athlete, he sought out the YL group at his school, and he regularly took 15 other kids with him to hear the Gospel. Most of his friends encountered Jesus through Young Life. They were not “popular” kids, but rather drama kids and others on the sidelines of high school life without a place to belong. Seeing YL impact my brother and his friends made me check it out as a college student.
I’ve been a leader for the past 12 years at a both public and private high schools. I’ve been friends with middle school and high school girls who are beautiful cheerleaders/Homecoming queen types, and I’ve been friends with girls who are overweight and not accepted by their peers. All the kids I meet, from the most well known and well liked to the most cast-out seem to be searching for the same thing: Love. And, Young Life holds out the love of a Savior to those kids.
I hate that your experience with Young Life was negative. I do think we all need to be careful about tearing down any organization that is doing Gospel work, but especially one that is over 60 years old and making an impact internationally-and not just with your popular teenagers. Young Life has ministries in America now for middle school and high school kids, pregnant teen moms (YoungLives), disabled kids (Capernum) and college kids (YL College). The staff and volunteer leaders are not perfect, but the ones I know are working at reaching any kid that will give them the time of day in order that they can build a relationship with them to tell them about Jesus. Spend some time on the YL website and you will see kids of every shape, color and background, all united by the love of a Young Life leader and the greater Love of their Savior.
Love this post, very well written
wow. perfectly put.
the heart of young life beats for kids to meet Jesus after earning the right to be heard. This is wonderful Camille.
I think the key point of Young Life has been missed here. Firstly, fault the leaders of YL who are trying to win acceptance by the popular kids – not the organization. Young Life is after the heart of Jesus first and second, a spurring from following Jesus, is reaching out to the farthest out kid. Young Life is truly not for those active in their faith. Although great to have those kids on board to see the vision of YL (which is winning kids to Christ) Young Life is about reaching the farthest out kids. Popular means far out. Unpopular means far out. Far out means away from Jesus. So shame on those leaders who saw only the popular kids for their fleeting popular characteristics. But not fault on Young Life for realizing that all kids need Jesus.
What’s with all the comments on such an old post lately? Has this gotten linked to from somewhere?
Katie,
I stumbled on this post when I was working on a YL talk about sin. I was looking for a couple fresh examples, and I googled “Young Life talks” and “evil” to see if anyone else had posted a Sin talk. My google search led me here, and I was crushed to read your post. I read it a couple times, waited a few days and finally responded. I’m not sure how everyone else ended up here. I think those of us who met Jesus through YL or who love the way the ministry goes after kids who need Jesus just hope to help others see how vital this ministry is for teenagers all around the world!
Hi Camille,
I am just wondering, were you crushed because so many have been harmed and turned away from Jesus by the popularity/conventional attractiveness focus of YL in their high schools, or crushed that someone posted that fact in public and others expressed their similar experiences?
Katie,
This (blog commenting) is sort of uncharted territory for me, but I’m just curious…how do you think Jesus would view your biting, sarcastic reply to Camille when no such sentiment was directed at you? I don’t know Camille, and I don’t know you, but I’m fairly certain that you harvest some ill will toward Young Life, and probably understandably so. But taking that out on somebody, especially unprovoked, seems rather unnecessary. And for what it’s worth…acting the same way toward somebody who doesn’t hate YL as you accuse them of acting has the tinge of hypocrisy to it. Be wary; thou art not so holy.
Hi Adam,
Holy is definitely something I cannot claim to be. It is by God’s grace alone that I have any holiness.
Camille’s sentiments were hurtful to me. All I expressed in my post is that YL has hurt me and others (evidenced by other comments here). Camille says that she felt “crushed” by my words, and I was honestly curious, what crushed her? Other than saying that she hated that I had a bad experience with YL, her comments really had nothing to do with empathy for me and the many others who are harmed by YL as teens, and instead defended YL. So I was wondering, was she crushed that the organization she loved so much was harming people, or that someone was saying it publicly?
I would assume that if she was crushed that YL was harming people, she would be empathic, curious, and motivated to help change things. Her defense of YL and essentially telling me that I shouldn’t have posted what I did sounded like she was really crushed that I dared to post this. By asking, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt.
I am not a doormat. I try to be kind, but when someone is not extending kindness to me, I find it difficult, because as I said before, I am not holy; I am human. And, truthfully, I don’t think “holiness” means letting people say hurtful and unkind things to me.
Katie your responses make me laugh… (not being mean) just they are funny to me. Sounds like you may have some pent up frustration. Hey no doubt Jesus loves you. It seems like you need to spend some time forgiving those involved in your younglife who intentionally or unintentionally hurt you. They were probably just living out of their own pain…or insecurity…need to be accepted. You are God’s beautiful creation…if you want to LIVE in that truth then you’ll have to get free from the pain that others have caused you…through young life or whatever. Forgive them, otherwise you may find yourself continuing the cycle of hurt to others.
No doubt.
As someone that is on Young Life staff, I want to apologize to you and many others that have also felt left-out and abandoned by people that claim to follow Him who never abandoned anybody, namely, Jesus Christ. All are welcome, all are love, all are pursued by God, and therefore, by those that follow Him. I pray that my actions and the Young Life ministry with which I am involved measure up to that.
My sister, thank you for a tough word of truth. And just as you’ve been able to separate Christ from His imperfect followers, please do the same with Young Life. Separate an imperfect experience with an imperfect local Young Life ministry from the heart of Young Life as a ministry, which is to embody Jesus Christ’s heart on this earth and to share that heart with all.
I so so so so HATE young life people (or at least the ones next door to me). They have thoroughly pissed off every single neighbor around here that I know of. I guess you could call my neighbors “staff”. They are constantly having lots of snooty brat kids over to their house who are running around in the streets yelling (and I do mean YELLING) at 10pm, 11pm, and even 1:30 in the morning sometimes. In the summer time it is almost every weekend that I have to put up with this.
I sure am glad to have neighbors who try and teach the kids to have respect for those around them. HAHAHAHAHA! NOT!
For all the parents out there….keep your kids away from young life or wild life. Do your home work before you let your kids join those organization.
Reblogged this on Young Life Watch and commented:
Blog post about how the author felt out of place and not welcome to Young Life. She makes similar observations about what I call the “Cult of Cool”…check it out.
Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
When I look at your website in Chrome, it looks fine but when
opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
Other then that, awesome blog!
Hi Katie,
I am a fellow blogger, and I am a young life leader. I was not the type A person in high school, sure I had friends but I had acne and I struggled with weight issues as well. Young Life was the only place that I felt welcomed. I did not have a church home that welcomed me, and I hated going to church. It was a chore, but God used Young Life to bring me to Him. There were popular people there, but there were also just your average high school student there as well. In my senior year I made it my mission to make everyone welcome, to invite people who I came in contact with regardless of their social status. I am so sorry to hear about your experience, and I hope it didn’t burn or hurt your relationship with our precious Lord and Savior. Today as a leader, I try to make the club an environment that is welcoming to the girl who sits alone in the corner insecure and hurting. I go to plays, and choir concerts so that I can maybe encounter the girls who often go unnoticed. But YL is far from perfect and it never will be. But our sweet God is perfect, and He will never fail you. God bless.